days in june

i had something to say but i think exhaustion has overcome me. ive lost my fight and have become flacid over night, unwilling to pick up telephones or heartbeats. i cant sleep and i stopped running. i have begun to throw away hundreds of dollars a month on a gym membership i no longer use, and have abandoned the boxing, despite all of my early enthusiasm. i gained 10 lbs of soft body, replacing the 20 lbs of solid, strong toning i worked furiously for since the winter. i eat red meat and drink everyday. i began smoking.

i am tired

i am there again

so tired.

to be there again

....set yourself on fire, athena. light the match