i cant

i cant imagine what this is like for you. i admire your courage and dedication. I admire your love for her. Even though I believe I am unworthy of such dislike (and, disgust, even?) I realize these are real emotions for you and in the face of that, still, you can speak to me and keep a straight face, for her sake. I am not being facetious or pretentious. I am grateful for that quality in you both.

really.

I saw the struggle in your eyes on Sunday-- the struggle to smile, and greet me. I saw it on Monday when I left. I can tell. It is easier for me, I harbor none of the feelings that make it hard for me to smile at you. But you...you do, and still, you smile. Indulge in pleasantries....for her.

Admirable. Scarce. And revered by me. Not that my respect means much to you, but I felt compelled to write about it. It is not often that I am impressed this way. So, I am inspired to write about it. thats all.